HOME

      There has been so much going on in the last two weeks that I am not sure how to tell it to you. I went on two hikes both quite difficult while I was discovering so much about myself. On May Day, we started our trip to Brasov from Bucharest. On our way to what would be our home for a couple of days, we stopped at my mom's place. The entire time I felt like I am going home, home in a spiritual way. I felt so much gratitude for everything and everyone. This comes from a person that would only dream of feeling this. 

    Four years ago I was in a relationship with a person who would reflect every pain I have. I still remember to this day that we were gathered in his kitchen, his mom and dad and us. He was comfortably staying on the sofa, while I was discussing with his mom in his kitchen. I have it graved in my memories when he told smiling: " We are alike. You are a runaway. The only difference between you and I is that you also physically runaway from your parents". He was still living with his parents. I only found ways to go as far as possible from home, from my parents, from my true self.

    Feeling home for the first time and feeling such a deep gratitude from the depth of my heart was the result of my hard work in all the combined therapies I have been doing in the last years. In the last 6 months I allowed myself to experience the pain, missing my parents in key moments of life. I allowed my self to experience what it felt abandonments and injustices, rage and fury. I also allowed myself to honestly inform others of what I feel. I informed my parents that no matter how many hours, days, months or years I spend with them, it seems like it is never enough. I allowed myself to cry all my sorrows and pains, and it reflected in a better relationship with myself and the world around me. 

    The entire road to home looks like a hike in the mountains. when hiking, one must enjoy every step going up and take enough brakes to enjoy the natural range of emotions and feelings. It is hard and tiring, but rewarding. Sometimes, the hike sounds easy but might be a test of endurance, flexibility or dosage of efforts.