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Mirrors


 I was visiting one of the coolest art exhibition in Bucharest with my friends. I stopped at one of the paintings and took my time to admire it. My friend came next to me and asked: "Are you admiring yourself?". I instantly replied yes. We looked in each other's eyes and we started to laugh.

A few days later, it dawned on me what another friend used to tell me: "Ana, every relationship will mirror parts of you". Whenever she was telling me this, I just couldn't grasp it. This leads to what my grandmother used to tell me: "the husband is the mirror of the wife". Every time I had the same question: "How can anyone mirror me, when we are so different?". 

We are different, but the essence is so alike. We all have emotional wounds, we all have darkness and we all have light in ourselves. We all suffered from a for of unjustness, a wound of abandonment or just rejection. We all have a part of us corresponding to some of the blamed stereotypes: alcoholic, drug addict, whore, smoker, emotional instability etc. It is difficult to accept the negative "traits" and outline to others our good and shiny part. 

In my 20's it was easier just to put a label and spend less time with my "negative" mirrors. My social butterfly characteristics were at their maximum. In my 30's I was looking for stability in my relationships, no matter if the mirrors were "good" or "bad". I started my journey for a healthy life hanging out with people who enjoyed partying hard. Every month I would set my intention for a healthy lifestyle (at that time I was easting healthy and exercising almost daily) and every weekend I would go party with alcohol and cigarettes. Somehow, my wildest fears would come true as I always had a fear related to addictions either physical or emotional. 

After spending almost one year partying every weekend, the things came to an end from my point. I felt my place wasn't in the group. At first, I felt devasted. The more I started to rethink my life I acknowledged I was so afraid of life, of addictions or just emotions that it was hard for me to even accept it. For example, I was so afraid of being emotionally dependent on someone, even friend, that I never let myself live any emotion in any relationship. 

How are we handling our "mirrors"? First of all, never fall in love with your mirror. People come in our life just to show us where we need to work ourselves. They will push buttons we never knew we had, some will push those buttons in a hard way creating suffering and some will push those buttons with love and acceptance. On the way, please don't forget to offer yourself love and to know your priorities at the present moment.

P.S. I will let you think which painting caught my attention and resembles myself today.
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