Treceți la conținutul principal

The masks

 



        In the December I received as homework a nice exercise regarding all the masks we wear and how we hide our true self. I was blindfolded I was asked to act towards different people. I mean how I am on a daily basis towards different people in my life. The first one was my mom and then my dad. Somehow, I don't have a certain behavior around them. I just sit like a good girl. I just do what I am told and I listen. The third one was my boyfriend or my ex-boyfriend. I never did any sexy moves. I was still in a good girl mood and perhaps just obeying what I was told. The forth one was my relationship with my friends, where I had the same behavior of just playing along with the music or the rules others make it. The last one is the mask of the world. How I behave in front of the world and I had the vision of the serious schoolgirl that obeys the rules and never rebels. In the end, I just found myself dancing along the line between my true self and all my masks. It seemed I was so skilled in hiding my true self from the world. I was so preoccupied with what the world would say that I showed only my serious and obedient side. I was so worried that even my parents would love me less if I showed my true colors.
         Are we loved for who we are? Are we loved in spite of our mistakes? Can we show our true selves without the fear of being judged, labelled or ostracized? 
          There is no answer to these questions. Time will show us the people who stick around for the long run and love us for all our true colors.






  

Etichete:

Comentarii

Trimiteți un comentariu

Postări populare de pe acest blog

HOME

       There has been so much going on in the last two weeks that I am not sure how to tell it to you. I went on two hikes both quite difficult while I was discovering so much about myself. On May Day, we started our trip to Brasov from Bucharest. On our way to what would be our home for a couple of days, we stopped at my mom's place. The entire time I felt like I am going home, home in a spiritual way. I felt so much gratitude for everything and everyone. This comes from a person that would only dream of feeling this.      Four years ago I was in a relationship with a person who would reflect every pain I have. I still remember to this day that we were gathered in his kitchen, his mom and dad and us. He was comfortably staying on the sofa, while I was discussing with his mom in his kitchen. I have it graved in my memories when he told smiling: " We are alike. You are a runaway. The only difference between you and I is that you also physically runaway ...
Trimiteți un comentariu
Citiți mai multe

Love and growth

           I've been thinking for a while in writing about relationships. What I can tell you is that I never had an example of a healthy relationship in my entire family. I don't mention my parents relationship as they were not able to reach agreement on joint custody and visiting hours. I also mention the extended family.  I've been raised by a single parent and the hardships of a relationship were hidden from my eyes.           My friends mentioned to me that I am the Creator of my relationships and I can build what I call "my perfect relationship". My friend also mentioned that I am not able  to request from my partner what I am not and that I will need to work out on my fears, traumas etc. It happens that my partner will trigger all my traumas while he will create the space to heal. There will be a dance between us.       What my friends were saying at that time seemed otherworldly, but their words...
Trimiteți un comentariu
Citiți mai multe

Renting my baby

           I've been going through a lot of changes and challenges lately. As I moved in autumn at my boyfriend's place, I kept for a while my place free. Almost one year. This winter I paid utilities almost 100 EUR, which I found quite a lot for a house I don't live in. I discussed with my boyfriend to take all my precious books from there and have a space dedicated in his house.              Beside the logistics of moving my library to my boyfriends house, I also needed to handle a lot of documents so that I can officially be the administrator. This is the house I renovated. I was thought it is important because I chose every piece of material with my hand. I went two or three times to the stores so that I can decide on the type of sandstone I want. I watched two times the documentaries related on interior design on Netflix just to think to the flow I want to have in the room.          ...
Trimiteți un comentariu
Citiți mai multe